It was the first time feeling like crap when I woke up this morning. Just feel so alone. I can't trust anyone. This cynicism has been hovering around for so long. At first a few years ago, mother told me that I should not trust anyone except myself and her. Back then I just scoffed at it, saying that it's stupid, I can trust my friends and my girlfriend back then.
But something snapped. When my heart broke for the first time. The poison started to sink in. I shut myself out from the world. I could not confide in anyone. I disconnected myself from everyone. Those were my darkest days.
It took me 2 years to finally start trying to open up to people. I felt a lot of relief. I was able to fall in love again, and I knew to expect a fall. However, I didn't imagine that I would fall this hard that I relapse to back to where I was. I had lost my trust in everyone again.
Its really hard to start, but I'm slowly trying to reconnect myself. I am just so tired of being like this.
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