So an update on life as it is right now. I am doing fine, my mind is in a good place at the moment. I haven't been kicked out of uni, just yet.. haha I actually passed all my units last semester I was so fucking stoked when I opened results to see all three units were passes.
In regards to work, I was offered a "promotion" at work, but me being the lazy bastard I am decided not to take up on it because I didn't have my resume ready. A friend of mine actually applied for the job and got it, regretting it so much now that I didn't actually apply for it, a pay rise would have been nice.
Life in general. I am happy, sure I don't have much going on, but I am actually content with everything. Friendship circle has grown smaller but I don't mind. I am finding myself in a more loner status but once again super content with that, I can't possibly ask for any more. In regards of where I want to lead my life. I want to be a rock star (if only), but really I want to be a humanitarian, philanthropist, saving the world, saving humanity from what it has become.
How I am going to achieve that, I don't know. And it may seem extremely weird that I want this, because as you can see, with all the songs I have been writing they are all nihilistic (believing that nothing exists and there is no point to life), about war, violence, destruction and what not, I want the exact opposite to happen to this world. I want to leave my mark, do my part and hopefully it'll influence the world. Look at the current world right now, a massacre in Norway does not get much coverage compared to the death of a crackwhore, its just plain retarded. The US Debt crisis, as well, it's pretty fucking scary thinking about what would happen to world if the US defaults - the economy will go into a depression, which may be possibly worse than that of 1929. I won't be able to do much to influence that situation though. If the US prints more money, then that will just cause the foreign exchange market to be flooded with USD causing it to depreciate, and causing further problems for the economy.
But I digress, I am working towards a better me still, such a work in progress ._. Hahaha a masterpiece cannot be rushed, and the vision will always change. I am good. I would always say "I am something" when I did not want to share what I was really feeling, or when I felt nothing or just felt like utter shit. But today I can claim that I am good, feeling great. I have overcome a mountain of problems in my life, and I know I will hit a stop some day eventually, but it won't become a meltdown that has been the last few years of my life. I've been able to grasp onto concepts and thoughts that plagued my mind over the last few years. I have accepted that I am me, and that I am happy with who I am and to no longer be that insecure young boy I was back then. After all no one wants to be around a depressed person who isn't up for anything, a killjoy who sucks the mood out of the room, the misanthrope who didn't trust humanity. I am sorry for all the times I did that. Taking pity upon myself, and being consumed in the darkness inside. That is pretty much in the past now.
I know someone is worried about me, so I posted this up in regards to everything. I want them to know that I am good. That they shouldn't worry about me. I hope they are okay too, and hopefully they'll be able to contact me when they can without consequences.
Edit: didn't think this would be such a long post hahaha. Fuck need to stop procrastinating and continue with my tute work..
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